BioShock is a new computer game I pre-ordered that will be released on Tuesday. I'm very excited because it is science fiction horror and is done by Ken Levine. I have an unnatural love for computer games. I know this because I don't spend time playing them. It's my fault I keep letting real life get in the way. I swear I can quit at any time. I cook. I read bedtime stories to Jade. I exercise. I eat too much food. But I often find myself not doing things I find the most pleasure to do. Why is that? I wonder why I spend so much time not enjoying myself. The word martyr comes to mind.
Okay, stop yelling at the computer screen. I know I try to fit a 35 hour day into 24 and the interest rates are killing me. I just don't know what I should give up to get what I want to do. I would like to think if I manage to complete one goal, every thing else would fall into place. When I am able to drop 30 pounds, my friends get more phone calls from me, I get more writing done, and I can get all my World of Warcraft Characters to 70. Damn, where did I put that genie bottle? Bah, I'll get around to rubbing that later.
I've read somewhere to be truly successful at something you have to learn to use the word, "no." But few people mention that price. Well, at least the ones who haven't say, "no" to me yet. There's another really good book I've read called, "The War of Art." One of the most telling chapters speaks of the risk of watching your closest friends may try to talk you away from your true calling. I do the opposite, I make them read about how much time I stumbled and dropped out of my hands.
At least, when I complain about time I've abused, I do it creatively:
"So what's this PaulRSmith.com all about."
"Well, it's this thirty something person who keeps writing about his daughter."
"Sounds dull."
"Nah, it's got some chuckles, here...and wait a minute! That's his whole blog! I've been reading this bloody thing for 7 years and that's his only theme! That bastard! I'll never fall into that trap again! I'm going to read comics. Oh, here's something different, Lucy is about to hold a football for Charlie Brown..."
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